the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
