I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
