Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
