So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
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Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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