I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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