are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize