I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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