Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
