I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
