Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
