She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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