Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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