Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
