i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
