Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There r osticjed everywhere
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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