He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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