The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
