Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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