Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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