i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
