how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize