i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
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I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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