Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
