do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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