never play flip cup with pint glasses
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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