how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize