dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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