Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
