I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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