when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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