she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
