Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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