Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
