I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
