dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
