the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
