check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
