wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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