I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
