I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
