I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
