I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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