I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How's work?
Spinning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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