Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just invented taco cereal.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
