am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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