don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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