I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
