Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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