there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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