But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
