dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
