girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Houston, we have a squirter
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
