Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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