Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
its liver damage thursday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize