We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
