i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
