i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
