How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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