Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Non-Jews are for practice
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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