Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Two words: blizzard sex
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
