Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
