I haven't been this sober since birth.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
pray to the hookup gods
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
