Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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