: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am puke
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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